Lately I've been spending a few minutes every day doing some free writing. For me it's a great way to get thoughts out of my head and organized them on a page. Today I sat down and wrote something that I immediately knew I wanted to share on my blog. It's about body issues, which is something that I think a lot of people can relate to and maybe even learn from, so I decided that I would share it here. I hope it's something that is helpful to anyone else who has issues or has had issues with their body.
Today I did a really challenging workout. I felt like quitting and I wasn’t sure if I could do it, but I did finish it. You’d think that I’d be super proud of myself for pushing myself and making it happen, but just now even when I was looking in the mirror I was thinking to myself, “It’s not enough”. Basically, I was telling myself that even though I’ve been working out twice a day for pretty much the last week and a half, I still don’t think it’s good enough. And the main reason is because I haven’t seen a huge change in my body. I’m literally letting how I look on the outside determine how I feel on the inside.
And then I realized...I’ve got it all backward. Instead of worrying about the changes I’m seeing (or not seeing) on the outside, I should be focusing on how I’m changing on the inside. First of all, how I feel is something that I can control, while how I look on the outside is not something I can control (as much as I'd like to). Also, I’d like to think that the changes on the inside count even more than ones on the outside.
What I realized today is that I’m literally a different person than I used to be. I never would have thought six months ago that I’d be working out twice a day and be following a 7 day slimdown from Tone It Up without any major slip-ups or without quitting. Six months ago I had given up on my body and given up on myself. Now I am proving day after day that I believe in myself. I’m showing up and taking charge of my life, which is something that wasn’t happening even a couple of months ago.
I’ve also changed how I think. I won’t say that I’m one of those people who necessarily looks forward to their workout, but I am getting closer to being that person every day. I don’t dread my workout anymore and I definitely don’t make excuses to try and get out of it. Working out is something that I know I need to do in order to be a happier, healthier version of myself, so I’m willing to do it in order to make my life better.
So instead of getting down on myself for not seeing huge improvements on the outside, I’m going to focus on what I can control, which is how I feel on the inside. I am going to remind myself that every time I workout I am proving to myself that I deserve to be happy and healthy.
And that's exactly what I wrote in my free writing today. It's not easy to admit that I am still so critical of myself even when I'm working so hard to get healthier, but at the same time I know that I'm not the only one who has had these thoughts, so I wanted to share them in case even one person out there can relate and hopefully know they're not alone.
If you would like to start your own health & fitness journey and would like to work with me (a real, genuine person, just like you) then please comment below or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I'd love to work with you!!
My name is Beth and I live in Denver. I am a single lady in my 30's and wanted to start sharing my awesome and amazing life through a blog.